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Great Barrington, MA
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Closet Clothing Lovers

by Petria May

Have you ever met a closet clothing lover? A closet clothing lover is a person who has the appearance and attitude of someone who seems to care nothing about clothes, but suddenly comes alive when the subject of fashion arises.

The CCL may come from any socio-economic background. Generally speaking, this person holds the belief that it is simply not right to care about her exterior life. She considers it superficial.

My own experience with CCLs involves people who fancy themselves highly practical or intellectual. As they see it, they wear clothing for two reasons: to keep warm and avoid getting arrested for indecent exposure. They claim to hate shopping and wear the same few outfits for a few years. They say they never buy labels and shop only when there's an emergency, such as a wedding. Even then, they would have to be the bride or groom. The groom could rent a tuxedo while the bride would hope to borrow a suitable dress from a family member.

It is quite a shock to learn that CCLs surf the Internet behind closed office doors, attend trunk shows at Bergdorf Goodman, seek out friends in the industry who can provide invitations to sample sales, stand outside the Barneys warehouse sale so as to be the first in line and, the pièce de resistance, they try to convince you to sell your own clothes off your back, if they like them. Geez, we would all be happier if the CCLs would just come into the daylight.

My favorite CCL is the woman who wants interesting clothes that will not raise eyebrows on Wall Street. Oxymoronic, I would agree. She hesitates to buy anything in sequins, silver or gold because these choices will draw too much attention to her, even at a cocktail party. She prefers dark colors to bright, pants to skirts, skirts to dresses, navy blue to black.

I wonder how this tense CCL would dress if she did not have to think about her career (which she has already confessed to hating). Maybe she would buy gold, skip the uniform blue and run around in red, shouting "Red or dead, baby!" Or maybe she would feel constrained by her internal critic who says, "You don't wear redgoldsequinsflashy!"

That inner voice can be a real spoil sport for some of us, packing away our imaginations into a little box and vowing to bring them out some day. And if we are fortunate enough to see that rather unpromised future day, one can only hope we will not be so complacent, so defeated in some inexplicable way that we continue talking ourselves out of a good time.

If the CCL can convince her naughty litter inner critic to be kind and open to varied choices, she will be giving the gift of a lifetime to herself and the rest of us watching her rather painful maneuvers.

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